Here are some funny things about 40K that I've colected over time. I don't know who's this is, so if its yours, speak up to get your credit.
Ultramarine seeks Sororitas for fashion tips, dancing, and decoration.
Hairstyling experience a plus, must have own makeup kit.
Call 1-800-ULTRAQUEEN
Daemonette seeks anything, anytime, any place for forbidden pleasures.
No kinky stuff please, I'm not that kind of girl.
Call 1900-SLAA-NESH
You might be an Eldar Exarch if...
...Daemonettes of Slaanesh are invading your craftworld, consuming spirit stones left and right, and your first thought is that you now have a chance to test that new Power Sword - YAY!
...You collect non-pointed ears on a necklace, and your bunk-mate wishes you'd put them away.
...You're the one who goes to wine-tasting parties and, instead of getting plastered, you sit quietly, considering who you might be able to pick a fight with...
...Your armor has dozens of little voices telling you to clean that Ork Blood off your face.
...Having the very essence of your being consumed in order to give life to a Towering, molten-blooded killing machine sounds really GREAT, and you find yourself fighting with your closest buds to get in line.
...You're more than happy to risk your very soul for another chance to chop up Flesh hounds.
...You'd be considered a violent schizophrenic if you were human - but you'd slap around anyone who called you that.
...You consider any non-eldar wearing power-armor to be a big sissy.
...All you have to look forward to in your old age is becoming a ghost within your own armor.
...You're the one who flips off to the Imperial Inquisitor, behind his back (or in front of it if you're REALLY ballsy), when he comes to visit the Dark Library.
...You fondly remember the day you first could withstand two wounds.
...You'd happily ditch that missile launcher for... a pistol and a skull themed bola.
...Imperial Guardsmen are always comparing you to dairy products, for some stupid reason.
...You get testy when you think that Eldar SCOUTS are the ones on the "Path of Danger" - You'd be only too happy to show them what REAL danger is.
Shirt Slogans (by Howard Liu)
- "I experienced the Pavane of Slaanesh and all I got was this lousy T-shirt."
- Honk if you love Nurglings
- Space Hulk Unlimited: When you absolutely, positively have to get there whenever the Warp damn well pleases
- Have you kissed a Genestealer today?
- Brilliant Strategy: The last word in going first
- Emperor's Grace Life Insurance: Because everybody has to die someday
- "Heresy Bites" (in gothic print, with Imperial eagles and winged skulls everywhere)
- I [heart] my Squig / Carnifex / Daemonette
- "The sky above Necromunda was the color of television, tuned to a dead channel"
- [Picture of a Keeper of Secrets, surrounded by Fiends and Steeds and other unsavory types] Caption: Just Do It
- [Two Imperial Guardsmen in a Demolisher]: "It's 106 miles to the pickup point,
we've got a full tank of gas, half a pack of krak grenades, it's dark, and we're wearing
photo-protective visors."
"Hit it."
- [A Squat sporting a long, blonde wig, a battle skirt, a full beard and two bolters, standing astride a pile of Chaos Marine corpses]: It Ain't Over 'Til the Fat Lady Sings
- Front: [A massive slavering Tyranid horde] "Sir, we've got spore mines down our
left flank, nine foot tall creeps spooking our rear guard, flaming bugs dropping out of
the sky, and now Jones is acting funny."
- Back: [Picture of a Space Marine Chaplain] Caption: No Sweat